Dealing with negative thoughts starts with my self talk.

After my divorce was a very dark time for me. I had divorced a very controlling person who wasn’t shy about how he was the only one who would put up with all of my deficiencies.

I remember one day I was driving to work, traffic was horrible and I was late again. I was thinking about how bad I was being an adult. I was telling myself I was stupid, I was not able to stand alone and I wasn’t able to do anything right.

I stopped mid thought and realized I would never tell anyone else those things I was saying to myself. Right then I established a rule that if I wouldn’t say ‘the thing’ to a friend I wasn’t allowed to say it to me.

That day was turning point for me. Instead of ‘I can’t do anything right’, I told myself hey, you are a single mom with a full time job, you are doing great. I became my own best friend.

I still have the negative thoughts but now I am much better at not making it worse by reinforcing them.

I was thinking about how to answer this prompt. Everything is a risk of some sort. It’s more about choice of either risk tolerance or going into the risk to experience something different.

While I was thinking about it I get a text and video from my facility. There was a police chase starting about 3 cities over that ended across the street. Multiple helicopters, police cars and the like.

So apparently my current risk is going to work. I can’t live my life being afraid of being out in the world.

Daily writing prompt

Describe a risk you took that you do not regret.

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Several years ago I was going through a layoff at a fortune 500 company. I had been working for them for 20 years and had a significant severance package. I had been in IT for most of my career with that company. I was really struggling with finding a new job because the work environment had become so toxic I had no interest in going through that again.

One of my friends called me one day and took me out for coffee. He knew I was struggling and had worked with me on training my dogs and knew I really enjoyed it. He asked why I wasn’t looking at becoming a dog trainer full time. That started the process of me starting my own business. It’s been the best and the toughest part of my life and there hasn’t been a time that I wanted to go back to a life in corporate. My life is so different now, so much more full and so many goals that I didn’t even know I wanted to do before I changed my life.

Daily writing prompt

Write about a time when you didn’t take action but wish you had. What would you do differently?

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I think the biggest thing I wish I would have done differently is leaving my marriage years sooner. I was married for seven years. I probably should have only been married for 3 and chosen to leave at that point. Those last four years took me down roads I never imagined I would have allowed in a marriage.

Through counseling and learning to set boundaries better I have been able to create a life I never would have imagined while married. Looking back I don’t think I would change it. I needed those experiences to grow and be the person I am today.

Lots of things make me nervous. It all comes down to me thinking I won’t be enough to accomplish what I’m doing.

I’m a big fan of Mel Robbins and one of the things she has taught me is to ask ‘What if it all works out’ the mental shift that question creates allows me to breathe and start moving forward.

Am I always good enough? No, but I always gain experience and that is how I eventually find success.

End of a demanding day can happen in several ways. Some days are demanding but I’m able to come home and cook something for dinner that helps me recharge and relax. Other times I knit/crochet so I can create something.

On the days that are all things draining, my fish help me out. I can sit and watch the fish do their thing for hours. It’s fascinating and I enjoy the colors of the different fish.

I’m not a fan of social. Due to being a business owner, I have to be there. It’s how people find my business.

My rules are simple. I post things to make people smile. Mostly about my dogs because why wouldn’t they make everyone happy. Since it’s a necessary thing in my life, I chose to control the narrative.

I love when the bluebonnets bloom. I love driving and seeing the patches growing on the verge in the middle of the lanes. Makes me smile every time.

Especially since COVID, I have done my best to lead with kindness at all times. I find that greeting strangers, telling them good day or how much I love their hair is responded to with kindness.

Humor and smiles are a great way to reach out to anyone. I find my have a specific experience because they are almost all positive.