I’ve been thinking about a new tattoo for a while. Almost a year ago, I lost my daily companion. As a professional trainer he was my demo dog. He traveled almost everywhere with me and was by my side helping build my business for almost 5 years. When he was about 5 month old he started having problems with movement. Over time it was discovered he had significant structural issues. I was told he would probably have a couple of years before the pain or instability would be too much. We were able to get almost 5 years.
For the tattoo, I’m planning on a dream catcher with his paw print in the middle. It’ll be high on my chest, next to my left shoulder, just where my heart dog should be. Still working on the dream catcher, haven’t found the right one yet.
The assignment for today is to identify my audience. It’s more along the line of “figure out the focus of you blog”. The suggestion is to pick someone and write the post to them. It’s a good thought, and I have a few hazy thoughts on who I could pick. This is my struggle.
I am a peacemaker for the most part and I hate conflict. I also spent quite a few years being trained by my employer to be a facilitator and to learn the skills to “flex my personality”. If anyone remembers those Age old personality tests I was a cross between intellectual and amiable. The company I worked for at that time spend upwards of five years and thousands of dollars to send me to dedicated communication courses at least twice a year.
What does all that really mean? They taught me to communicate. They also taught me (really well as it turns out) what to do to trigger people. They intended to teach how to identify the triggers and resolve the situation. I found out early on there are certain circumstances where I really don’t care if the issue is resolved and I will push the triggers harder. Why not, it’s not like I enjoy talking to those people anyway.
Back to my assignment. I struggle because I have vastly different communication styles depending on who is on the other end of the conversation. It’s not dishonest, it’s the difference between saying “I don’t agree with what you are doing.” versus “That’s a really bad idea because piranhas really like it when dinner sticks their hand in the tank like home delivery.”
I wonder if it’s cheating to write to the authentic me. The one who isn’t so busy trying to make sure she communicates with the best filter possible to match the other person but just communicates “If you are stupid enough to put your hand in that tank, I need to find a new friend because you have obviously lost what intelligence you had when we met.”
Maybe there are some other people out there looking for a truer self, and if they somehow manage to end up here, we can figure it out together.
My Slightly Twisted Life 